7pm is an hour in the day that I sometimes welcome with a little dance, as I am grateful for its significance:
Bedtime for Addi. I have spent the entire day chasing after her, singing ABC’s, reading books, pretending to love bubbles, fake tea and cakes and colouring outside of the lines as much as she does. But let’s face it, I'm beat by the end of the day and I haven’t even mentioned any laundry, cleaning or dog walks that are required within a day too.
Bedtime for Addi. I have spent the entire day chasing after her, singing ABC’s, reading books, pretending to love bubbles, fake tea and cakes and colouring outside of the lines as much as she does. But let’s face it, I'm beat by the end of the day and I haven’t even mentioned any laundry, cleaning or dog walks that are required within a day too.
Why is it that when us mums want to talk about having time to ourselves, being
our own person that doesn’t have a child on our hip or wanting every ounce of our
attention, we feel we have to pre-empt it with: “I do love my child...”?
our own person that doesn’t have a child on our hip or wanting every ounce of our
attention, we feel we have to pre-empt it with: “I do love my child...”?
So here I go; I do love my daughter BUT I was an independent person before I had
her and would like to think I have a sliver of Janell still left outside of my role of
mum. I have my bachelor’s degree, I am a certified personal trainer, I used to have
time to go to the gym, stay awake past 10pm, enjoy a few drinks without the worry
of being hung over and managing bubs in the morning! I used to have more to me
then the title mum.
her and would like to think I have a sliver of Janell still left outside of my role of
mum. I have my bachelor’s degree, I am a certified personal trainer, I used to have
time to go to the gym, stay awake past 10pm, enjoy a few drinks without the worry
of being hung over and managing bubs in the morning! I used to have more to me
then the title mum.
I must say, I think it is crazy that I have mum guilt for having written the above
paragraph. Like I am automatically in the bad mum book forever! These types of
words are never to be spoken out loud!
paragraph. Like I am automatically in the bad mum book forever! These types of
words are never to be spoken out loud!
I am one mum, like most, who have mum guilt for wanting to be apart from our
child even if it is for an hour or two a week. But I work damn hard with my daughter
and in my role as mum, so why can’t I acknowledge my hard work and dedication
sometimes with a holiday, night out for drinks with the girls, or a simple hour of not
having to think of what else I can do to entertain a two year old besides bubbles one
more time that day!
child even if it is for an hour or two a week. But I work damn hard with my daughter
and in my role as mum, so why can’t I acknowledge my hard work and dedication
sometimes with a holiday, night out for drinks with the girls, or a simple hour of not
having to think of what else I can do to entertain a two year old besides bubbles one
more time that day!
I have to laugh at myself and how other people’s judgment on me as a mother really
affects me. I was getting my nails done, Addi was at daycare and I was supposed to
be working. We all know 2 year olds will not sit still long enough for you to have nail
polish finish drying so unless hubby is able to watch her, I have to go on a BabyButton
work day to have my nails done. A lady I am an acquaintance with saw me getting my
nails done and came over to say hello. She asked where Addi was and automatically
I said at home with Hubby. Why?! Why would I do that when it was a blatant lie? It
was to save face and not look like a slack mum by putting bubs in care to get her nails
done! I didn't want her to go back to our mutual friends and say that I was a slack
mum or anything negative. But why as a mother herself, wouldn’t she understand my
need for a break?
affects me. I was getting my nails done, Addi was at daycare and I was supposed to
be working. We all know 2 year olds will not sit still long enough for you to have nail
polish finish drying so unless hubby is able to watch her, I have to go on a BabyButton
work day to have my nails done. A lady I am an acquaintance with saw me getting my
nails done and came over to say hello. She asked where Addi was and automatically
I said at home with Hubby. Why?! Why would I do that when it was a blatant lie? It
was to save face and not look like a slack mum by putting bubs in care to get her nails
done! I didn't want her to go back to our mutual friends and say that I was a slack
mum or anything negative. But why as a mother herself, wouldn’t she understand my
need for a break?
I am a believer that us mums should have a few hours break from our children,
house chores, cooking and simply have our time once a week. We should be able to
clock off, go for a coffee, get our nails done, or go read a book in the garden and not
be interrupted by anyone or any more chores.
house chores, cooking and simply have our time once a week. We should be able to
clock off, go for a coffee, get our nails done, or go read a book in the garden and not
be interrupted by anyone or any more chores.
What is sad to me is that society makes you feel like crap for wanting to do that.
And perhaps even some partners/family members do too. (Thankfully not mine!)
But I see it like this. Yes we chose to have our kids, yes we chose to be stay at home
mums. But here is my example of my husband. Hubby chose to be a fireman, he
chose to work shift work, he chose to work crazy weird hours and be home when he
is able to. But ultimately in the end, he does have days off from being a fireman, from
being at work, and the obligations that come from that. So why, because our chosen
profession as mums condemn us for wanting to have a break like our partners do
from their work?
And perhaps even some partners/family members do too. (Thankfully not mine!)
But I see it like this. Yes we chose to have our kids, yes we chose to be stay at home
mums. But here is my example of my husband. Hubby chose to be a fireman, he
chose to work shift work, he chose to work crazy weird hours and be home when he
is able to. But ultimately in the end, he does have days off from being a fireman, from
being at work, and the obligations that come from that. So why, because our chosen
profession as mums condemn us for wanting to have a break like our partners do
from their work?
Being a mum is a great profession and one that I truly do love. I enjoy seeing my
daughter’s face each time she wakes up for her nap, being home to put her to bed,
teaching her new things each day. I wouldn’t trade my job for a corporate job, being
a psychologist or even personal trainer. I just want a mummy break sometimes and
to not feel guilty about it!
daughter’s face each time she wakes up for her nap, being home to put her to bed,
teaching her new things each day. I wouldn’t trade my job for a corporate job, being
a psychologist or even personal trainer. I just want a mummy break sometimes and
to not feel guilty about it!
~Janell~
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